The Day My Son Called Me a Demon
His mother replied: "Spoken like a true wise man." I have the screenshots.
August 2011. Three months after the separation.
My older son, fifteen years old, posted publicly on Facebook:
“If Morality Could Be Physically Shown, My Dad Would Have Demon Horns... (Not Entirely Inspiring For Me)”
His mother replied, also publicly:
“Wow... spoken like a true wise man. It makes me want to cry though.”
Her family member added: “But u have ur wonderful mom :) & all ur other family toooo”
I have the screenshots. I have the timestamps. This is what appeared on my screen when I logged into Facebook in August 2011.
The demon’s lair
Three weeks later, my son posted again:
“Remember that one post I made, ‘If Morality Could be Physically Shown, my Dad would have Demon Horns’? Well, I have to enter the Demon’s lair today and survive for the weekend...”
His mother replied: “You are loved, loved, loved!!”
A family friend commented: “Hang in there!”
His mother added a crying emoji.
To me, this was how my custody weekends were being framed: an ordeal to survive. The demon’s lair. Something requiring encouragement to endure.
And his mother did not correct it. She validated it. Publicly. In writing. With timestamps.
What a parent could have said
There are things a parent might say when their child publicly calls their other parent a demon.
“That’s too harsh.”
“Your dad loves you.”
“I know you’re angry, but that’s not fair.”
“Let’s talk about this privately.”
Instead: “Spoken like a true wise man.”
Instead: “You are loved, loved, loved!!”
Instead: a crying emoji, positioning herself as the fellow victim, suffering alongside him through the unbearable burden of... visiting his father.
The spy
A few days later, a different exchange appeared on Facebook.
His mother had posted about my younger son, then twelve years old, being a “heartbreaker.” Normal parenting banter. But in the comments, my older son chimed in:
“The funny thing is that he still has no clue which one of his friends told me the valuable information. He can’t trust ANYONE!”
He was talking about his younger brother. He was bragging about spying on his own sibling and reporting back to their mother.
Her response:
“LOL... Continue to be my SPY! :D”
She used the word “SPY.” She added a laughing emoji and a grinning face.
This was not private. This was not whispered. This was posted publicly, where I could see it, where friends and family could see it, where anyone could see a mother openly encouraging one child to spy on another and report back to her.
“Continue to be my SPY.”
In her own words. With a smiley face.
What the screenshots show
I am not asking you to believe my interpretation. I am asking you to read the words.
A fifteen-year-old publicly called his father a demon. His mother called him a wise man for it.
A fifteen-year-old publicly bragged about spying on his younger brother. His mother told him to continue.
A fifteen-year-old described visiting his father as entering a demon’s lair, something to survive. His mother responded with hearts and encouragement, as if he were heading into battle.
These were public posts on Facebook. Not private messages. Not whispered conversations. They were broadcast to friends, family, and anyone who cared to look. They remain in the public record.
And they were rewarded. Praised. Validated. Encouraged.
The timeline
Let me remind you of the timeline.
Seven weeks before the “demon horns” post, my custody journal recorded my sons “smiling a lot, laughing a lot, and talking a lot.” My younger son said he saw my now wife “like a step-mom” and my now stepson “like a brother.” My older son asked for another sleepover. He said he “really wanted” to stay longer.
Seven weeks later: demon horns. The demon’s lair. An ordeal to survive.
What happened in those seven weeks?
They went back to their mother’s house.
What I cannot prove
I cannot prove what was said in that house. I cannot prove what conversations happened, what framing was offered, what version of events was presented.
But I can show you what came out of it. What was posted publicly, on Facebook, visible to friends, family, and the world. What remains in the public record.
A child who, seven weeks earlier, was asking for sleepovers at my house, was now publicly calling me a demon.
A mother who, three years earlier, wrote “good father, puts family first, reads to the boys at night” on a list of my qualities, was now praising her son for comparing me to a creature from hell.
I have both documents. I have the timeline.
The script
There is a term in the parental alienation literature: “the independent thinker phenomenon.”
It describes a pattern where a child parrots the alienating parent’s views, but the alienating parent praises the child for having such “mature” and “independent” thoughts. The child is rewarded for opinions that were handed to them, while being told they arrived at those opinions on their own.
“Spoken like a true wise man.”
My son was fifteen. He was not a wise man. He was a teenager caught in something he did not design.
From where I stood, this was not a child processing divorce. This was a child being handed a script.
Author’s Note: This article is a work of personal nonfiction based on my own memory, correspondence, and documentation. It reflects my individual perspective and experience, and is not intended as legal or psychological advice. Some names, timelines, or identifying details may have been changed to protect the privacy of all involved.
A Note on Gender: While I write this from my perspective as a father speaking about an ex-wife, the behaviors of alienation and high-conflict control are gender-neutral. If you are a mother experiencing this, simply swap the pronouns; the pain and the patterns are exactly the same.
Resources & Further Reading
Foundational Concepts
The Eight Manifestations of Parental Alienation — Dr. Richard Warshak
Why it’s relevant: Warshak identifies “campaign of denigration” and “independent thinker phenomenon” as core alienation markers, both visible in this evidence.
Parental Alienation: The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals — Demosthenes Lorandos, William Bernet, S. Richard Sauber
Why it’s relevant: The clinical standard for understanding how children are positioned against a parent through reinforcement of extreme negative views.
Practical Guidance
When Your Child Uses Extreme Language About the Other Parent — Psychology Today
Why it’s relevant: Discusses what healthy co-parenting looks like when a child expresses anger, including the importance of not reinforcing demonization.
Social Media Evidence in Custody Cases — DivorceMag
Why it’s relevant: Explains why public social media posts constitute admissible evidence in family court proceedings.
Deep Dives
Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing — Dr. Richard Warshak
Why it’s relevant: The definitive guide on recognizing and understanding the dynamics that lead to children calling a loving parent a “demon.”
The Weaponization of Children in Divorce — Journal of Family Psychology
Why it’s relevant: Academic research on how children are used as instruments in high-conflict custody situations.
I wish I could read this, but I'm still too raw. I've lost five kids to alienation, and your title shook me. I relate, and offer solidarity, as best as I can.
I have a hard time reading this as it brings up memories. This is exactly how it happened and how terrible it sounds is how terrible it was. I love all of our kids, even the alienated ones that i have not spoken to in a long time and I grieve for their loss of life. Not life itself but they have been robbed, by a bitter, insecure and angry woman, of key aspects of their life. That comment saying that he has his whole family that loves him was meant to make him feel better and possibly mentally replace his father but thats the farthest from the truth. I bet he sits every day with a hole in his heart, but not “awake” enough to realize his captor is his mother. It’s so sad. Sad for everyone involved. One woman’s insecurity……now has sent two damaged young men into the world…to continue this cycle. Its unfortunate.