I still have evidence too. FB and Insta posts, emails and text messages, 174 pages of Our Family Wizard NONSENSE. She called me hundreds of times as "unknown caller". Tried to get me in trouble at work. Said I ruined her marriage. She fixated on me, punished her Ex, and abused her children. We have proof from a forensic psychologist, counselors, and psychiatrists. On behalf of my fiance' and his beautiful daughters, whom I now consider my own, I will hold on to everything with the hope that someone, some day, would be willing to read it all and learn from it. These women and the torture they inflict needs to end. Fathers need resources to combat it. Family courts need education.
Men do this too, but we all know alienation is a mostly female problem. They're all the same. Different names, different states. Identical psychopathy.
Brooke, I’m so sorry you and your family have been carrying that.
The part about holding on to everything hit me. I understand that in a way I wish fewer people had to understand. Screenshots, emails, text messages, records, timelines, the strange little details that don’t seem important until years later when they become part of the only record that can still speak clearly.
That is one of the reasons I’m writing this. Not to share or relive every wound in public, but to show the pattern. To put the record next to the story.
Because that’s part of this behavior too, at least from what I’ve lived and documented. Facts get bent. Events get retold. Money that was paid becomes a story about money that was never received, often used to convince others to pick a side before they’ve ever seen the facts. Requests become accusations. Ordinary things get pulled into a larger story until the children, and sometimes everyone around them, are no longer hearing reality. They’re hearing a version of reality that can deepen the estrangement or alienation.
Sometimes I think the person doing it knows exactly what they’re doing. Sometimes I wonder if they’ve repeated the story so many times that they experience it as true. I can’t always know which one it is. But the damage can be the same either way.
That’s why I try to stay close to the documented record. Court filings exist. Receipts exist. Documentation exists. I’m careful not to name names, and I’m trying to look at this as honestly as I can, even through the pain of it.
And yes, family courts need better education on these patterns. Alienated parents need resources. Children most of all, including adult children of alienation.
The behavior is the issue. The pattern is the issue. The damage is the issue.
I hope what you’ve kept eventually lands in front of someone with the courage and patience to actually read it.
This is such a powerful post. The contrast to the narrative that the kids were hearing compared to what she was doing real time. Trips to help children that included partying and hot springs, the new car, the false statements about your items you asked for that she said she didn’t have BUT SHE DID is so sad and pathetic. To flat out tell your kids you are not getting money from their dad, when in fact there are receipts and then taking that money she “didn’t get” and booking trips, buying cars etc. shows how broken the legal system is. They don’t care that there is a woman basically causing fraud while alienating her children. I am so sad that parents do this. So sad that children grow up and never once think to question. Just take the alienators word at face value. This is terrible and you are a saint for highlighting this and I hope many who are going through the same thins see this. Data shows 22 million American parents are victims to alienating behavior and 3.8 MILLION children are moderately to severely alienated from a parent. What is this doing to our society?
Thank you, Wendy. You’ve seen so much of this up close, including the parts that never fit neatly into a court filing or a clean little summary.
That contrast is what still gets me. One story being told to the children, while the records were showing something else in real time. Payments that were made. Items that were said not to exist, then appeared in public photographs. Public posts that told one version of care, while the documentation showed a much different picture.
That is why I keep coming back to the record.
Not because the record fixes everything. It doesn’t. But it does give reality somewhere to stand when a story has been repeated long enough that people stop questioning it.
And yes, I think the larger cost is still wildly under-discussed. Not just legally, but developmentally, emotionally and culturally. What happens to children when one parent becomes a myth, the other becomes the narrator and no one stops long enough to ask what is actually true?
That question should bother more people than it does.
I still have evidence too. FB and Insta posts, emails and text messages, 174 pages of Our Family Wizard NONSENSE. She called me hundreds of times as "unknown caller". Tried to get me in trouble at work. Said I ruined her marriage. She fixated on me, punished her Ex, and abused her children. We have proof from a forensic psychologist, counselors, and psychiatrists. On behalf of my fiance' and his beautiful daughters, whom I now consider my own, I will hold on to everything with the hope that someone, some day, would be willing to read it all and learn from it. These women and the torture they inflict needs to end. Fathers need resources to combat it. Family courts need education.
Men do this too, but we all know alienation is a mostly female problem. They're all the same. Different names, different states. Identical psychopathy.
🙏🏼
Brooke, I’m so sorry you and your family have been carrying that.
The part about holding on to everything hit me. I understand that in a way I wish fewer people had to understand. Screenshots, emails, text messages, records, timelines, the strange little details that don’t seem important until years later when they become part of the only record that can still speak clearly.
That is one of the reasons I’m writing this. Not to share or relive every wound in public, but to show the pattern. To put the record next to the story.
Because that’s part of this behavior too, at least from what I’ve lived and documented. Facts get bent. Events get retold. Money that was paid becomes a story about money that was never received, often used to convince others to pick a side before they’ve ever seen the facts. Requests become accusations. Ordinary things get pulled into a larger story until the children, and sometimes everyone around them, are no longer hearing reality. They’re hearing a version of reality that can deepen the estrangement or alienation.
Sometimes I think the person doing it knows exactly what they’re doing. Sometimes I wonder if they’ve repeated the story so many times that they experience it as true. I can’t always know which one it is. But the damage can be the same either way.
That’s why I try to stay close to the documented record. Court filings exist. Receipts exist. Documentation exists. I’m careful not to name names, and I’m trying to look at this as honestly as I can, even through the pain of it.
And yes, family courts need better education on these patterns. Alienated parents need resources. Children most of all, including adult children of alienation.
The behavior is the issue. The pattern is the issue. The damage is the issue.
I hope what you’ve kept eventually lands in front of someone with the courage and patience to actually read it.
This is such a powerful post. The contrast to the narrative that the kids were hearing compared to what she was doing real time. Trips to help children that included partying and hot springs, the new car, the false statements about your items you asked for that she said she didn’t have BUT SHE DID is so sad and pathetic. To flat out tell your kids you are not getting money from their dad, when in fact there are receipts and then taking that money she “didn’t get” and booking trips, buying cars etc. shows how broken the legal system is. They don’t care that there is a woman basically causing fraud while alienating her children. I am so sad that parents do this. So sad that children grow up and never once think to question. Just take the alienators word at face value. This is terrible and you are a saint for highlighting this and I hope many who are going through the same thins see this. Data shows 22 million American parents are victims to alienating behavior and 3.8 MILLION children are moderately to severely alienated from a parent. What is this doing to our society?
Thank you, Wendy. You’ve seen so much of this up close, including the parts that never fit neatly into a court filing or a clean little summary.
That contrast is what still gets me. One story being told to the children, while the records were showing something else in real time. Payments that were made. Items that were said not to exist, then appeared in public photographs. Public posts that told one version of care, while the documentation showed a much different picture.
That is why I keep coming back to the record.
Not because the record fixes everything. It doesn’t. But it does give reality somewhere to stand when a story has been repeated long enough that people stop questioning it.
And yes, I think the larger cost is still wildly under-discussed. Not just legally, but developmentally, emotionally and culturally. What happens to children when one parent becomes a myth, the other becomes the narrator and no one stops long enough to ask what is actually true?
That question should bother more people than it does.